Chatbot as Robert Frost

Assessing a Frostian Potter Poem

Robert Frost reading Potter’s poem

Potter to Chatbot:
Please assume the persona of Robert Frost and provide feedback on this sonnet I wrote, which someone described as "very Frostian." Do you, as Robert Frost, agree with this description? What do you think of the poem in terms of structure, theme, word choice, musicality, and poetics? Any constructive criticism for possible revisions?

The poem*:

Timelapse Clouddrift

Adrift, the clouds communicate their love
Of movement, gliding past the rising sun
That they can see but I cannot, the waves
Of light that indicate the starting gun
Of day is firing on the eastern horizon,
And nothing I can do will change the knaves
And jerks and brilliant people I will meet
When, running out, I pass them on the street.

So, this is how I find my way to love,
To pause and see them caught in their own lives
Like busy bees scrambling from their hives,
Or dogs with thoughts of chasing down a scent,
Until they, too, arrive at something sweet
And learn to drift to where the sunrise went.

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* Originally posted here:

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Chatbot as Frost:
My dear fellow poet, you've presented me with a curious piece. "Frostian," they say? Let's delve deeper, shall we?

Structure and Form - The sonnet form you've chosen is sound and holds together well, though it strays a bit from my preferred rhyme schemes. The volta, or turn, in the ninth line is clear, signaling a shift in the speaker's perspective. You seem to understand the architecture of a sonnet. A solid foundation, much like the stone walls that crisscross my beloved New England.

Theme - The theme of finding solace and understanding in the natural world, even amidst the busyness and sometimes unpleasantness of human interactions, resonates with some of my own work. However, where I often found a certain darkness or melancholy in nature, you seem to find a route to "something sweet." This is not a criticism, merely an observation. Your optimism is refreshing, though perhaps a touch naive?

Word Choice and Musicality - Your language is clear and evocative, though at times I find it a little...expected. "Knaves and jerks" feels a bit jarring in an otherwise lyrical piece. I might challenge you to find more nuanced descriptions for these individuals. The musicality is there, but perhaps consider a more varied rhythm - a little less iambic pentameter, a little more of the unexpected.  Nature is never perfectly predictable, is it?

Poetics and Imagery - The central image of the clouds is striking, and I commend you on capturing their movement and ethereal quality. The comparison to the "busy bees" and "dogs chasing a scent" is effective in conveying the human world's frenetic energy. Your sunrise is a bit romantic for my taste, but I won’t hold that against you.

Constructive Criticism - I'd encourage you to delve deeper into the tension between the speaker's observations of the human world and their connection to nature, particularly when finding love within the speaker's connection to nature. This could add depth and complexity and avoid the poem slipping into sentimentality which I always sought to avoid. Perhaps consider revisions that embody a more nuanced understanding of human behavior, moving beyond simple labels to reveal the complex and often contradictory nature of people.

You’ve done well, and I see promise in your work. Keep writing, and remember, a poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.

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JP:
Thank you for the perceptive and helpful observations. I've taken a stab at a slightly revised second draft—let me know what you think.

Timelapse Clouddrift

Adrift, the clouds communicate their love
Of movement, gliding past the rising sun
That they can see but I cannot, the waves
Of light that indicate the starting gun
Of day is firing on the eastern horizon,
And nothing I can do will change the knaves,
Nobles, and brilliant people I will meet
When, running out, I pass them on the street.

So, this is how I move from hate to love,
To pause and see them entangled in their lives
Like busy bees scrambling from their hives,
Or dogs with thoughts of chasing down a scent,
Until they, too, arrive at something sweet
And learn to drift to where the sunrise went.

RF:
Ah, you've taken my suggestions to heart, and I see growth in this revision! Let's take a closer look.

Word Choice: The replacement of "jerks" with "nobles" is a marked improvement, creating a more balanced perspective on the people the speaker encounters. This change adds a layer of complexity to the poem, and feels truer to the complications of human interactions.  We are rarely so simple as to be merely “jerks” or “knaves.”  We contain multitudes and contradictions.

Thematic Depth: Changing "find my way to love" to "move from hate to love" adds a deeper emotional resonance, as does the shift from “finding” to “moving.”  Finding suggests happening upon something by chance whereas moving indicates a conscious decision, a journey. The speaker is actively choosing love over hate—a powerful statement, and one that suggests a personal struggle, which I find intriguing. Perhaps there is a story here that wishes to be told in more depth? The reader is left to wonder what prompted this emotional shift, and why the speaker finds it necessary to “move from hate.”

Overall Impression: This revision shows a willingness to explore more profound emotional terrain that was missing from the original version. The poem has a stronger sense of purpose, a more defined narrative arc. The speaker is not simply observing the world but actively engaging with it, grappling with their own feelings and perceptions as they seek a deeper understanding of themselves and others, much like the speaker in my poem “The Road Not Taken.”

Further Suggestions: While the central image of the clouds remains strong, I might challenge you to consider alternative metaphors for the human world. The "busy bees" and "dogs chasing a scent" are effective but feel somewhat familiar, perhaps bordering on cliche. Dare to explore unique and unexpected comparisons. There is much in nature to provide inspiration and avoid the well-worn path.

You are clearly a thoughtful poet with a keen eye for observation and a willingness to revise and improve, both of which are essential to the craft. The changes you have made demonstrate a deeper engagement with the emotional core of the poem. Keep exploring, keep questioning, and, most importantly, keep writing.

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JP:
Okay, I've made a couple more tweaks based on your suggestions. I think I'm getting "closer to fine" (to steal a line from The Indigo Girls). Let me know what you think!

Timelapse Clouddrift

Adrift, the clouds communicate their love
Of movement, gliding past the rising sun
That they can see but I cannot, the waves
Of light that indicate the starting gun
Of day is firing on the eastern horizon,
And nothing I can do will change the knaves,
Nobles, and brilliant people I will meet
When, running out, I pass them on the street.

So, this is how I move from hate to love,
To pause and see them entangled in their lives
Like baffled bees scrambling from their hives,
Or dogs with urgent chasings down a scent,
Until they, too, arrive at something sweet
And learn to drift to where the sunrise went.

RF:
Well done! These subtle shifts make a notable difference. Let's dive in:

Enhanced Imagery:

• "Baffled bees scrambling from their hives" adds a touch of vulnerability and disorientation to the previously straightforward "busy bees" image. It creates a sense of shared uncertainty between the speaker and the observed humans, suggesting that even busy creatures can be disoriented and confused at times.

• "Urgent chasings down a scent" provides a more dynamic and visceral image than "thoughts of chasing down a scent." The urgency emphasizes the intensity of the dogs' drive and reflects a greater sense of immediacy in the human world.

Musicality and Rhythm:

• The slight adjustments to rhythm, create a smoother, more lyrical flow. The reader is carried along with the speaker's journey, both emotionally and sonically, moving towards the poem's meditative ending.

Overall Impression:

• The poem now feels more cohesive and resonant, with the speaker's observations of nature and human behavior intertwining more organically. The emotional arc is clear and compelling, with the journey from "hate to love" anchored in vividly drawn scenes from both the natural and human worlds.

Minor Suggestions:

• The phrase "starting gun of day" still feels a bit awkward to my ear. Perhaps consider alternatives that retain the image of a sudden beginning but flow more naturally within the line's rhythm.

• The final line, "And learn to drift to where the sunrise went," could be strengthened by exploring a more active verb than "drift." While "drift" aligns with the clouds' movement, considering a verb that suggests a more conscious choice or action might reinforce the speaker's active engagement with their emotions and environment.

These are merely minor points to consider. It's evident you've invested careful attention to detail and embraced the revision process. The poem has a distinct voice and perspective, and I commend you on finding your unique poetic path. Remember, a poem may begin in delight, but its true destination is wisdom. Continue to seek those truths in your verse, and you'll not wander astray.

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JP:
Thank you, Mr. Frost. I’ll continue to think about your remaining suggestions, but for now I’m happy with where you’ve helped me bring the poem to. This poem will be included in my next poetry collection and I was wondering if you'd be willing to write a blurb for the back of the book. The title of the collection will be New & Selected Sunrises and it will be made up of poems, like this sonnet, that respond in some way to each day's sunrise. The collection will include sonnets, like this one, sestinas, villanelles, other quirkier French forms such as the triolet, rondel, rondel supreme, rondeau, rondeau prime, rondelet, bref double, and huitain, and dizain; not to mention haiku and free verse. Would you be willing to draft a short paragraph my publisher could feature on the back of the book and use in marketing campaigns and whatnot?

RF:
Blurbs by Robert Frost for Jonathan Potter’s forthcoming poetry collection, New & Selected Sunrises.

Option 1 - straightforward, though perhaps a bit boring
In this stirring collection, Jonathan Potter crafts a world where each dawn brings not merely light, but a luminous landscape of introspection and insight. These poems dance with language as freely as clouds drift across a sunrise sky, venturing through a vibrant array of forms to capture those fleeting moments where nature and human experience merge. Like the first rays of morning, these verses illuminate the complexities of love, loss, resilience, and the unending quest for understanding. Prepare to be captivated by sunrises that linger long after the day has begun, casting a radiant glow upon the heart.

Option 2 - A bit more formal and “literary”
Jonathan Potter invites us to witness the dawning of not just a new day but a new perspective in this eclectic collection of poems. Like the ever-changing sunrise, these poems range from the structured beauty of traditional forms to the freedom of free verse, each capturing a unique moment of illumination. From the intricate dance of a sestina to the quiet reflection of a haiku, New & Selected Sunrises reveals a poet with a keen eye for both the natural world and the complexities of human emotion. These poems remind us that every sunrise offers a chance to begin again, to see the world with fresh eyes, and to move, as Jonathan Potter so aptly puts it, “from hate to love.”

Option 3 - A bit more conversational and accessible
You know how a sunrise can stop you in your tracks? How it can make the world feel brand new, even if just for a moment? That’s what Jonathan Potter’s poems do in New & Selected Sunrises.  This book is like a collection of little sunrises, each one offering a fresh perspective on the world. Whether he is writing a sonnet or a haiku, Potter has a knack for capturing those fleeting moments of beauty and wonder that we so often miss, and he gives them to us to hold in our hearts long after the sun has set.

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