Hell in a Handbasket

song

AI-generated holy card

The pope he got a rope
And lassoed himself an antelope
And rode it around Vatican Town
Wearing a sombrero and sportin' a frown.

The place was thick with heretics
So he showed 'em a few of his best rope tricks
And then he shot 'em one by one
With his six-shooter orthodoxy gun.

The pope went down to the local saloon
And ordered him up a tall one.
"Bartender," he said, "my heart's full of dread
'Cause the world's going to hell in a handbasket
The world's goin' to hell in a handbasket."

The bartender said while scratching his head:
"I've never understood that sayin'
What does it mean? I've never real known ...
'The world's goin' to hell in a handbasket' ...
The world's goin' to hell in a handbasket."

"You're right," said the pope, "It's a strange one,
But it means exactly what's happening.
I don't wanna be rude but I have to conclude
The world's going to hell in a handbasket,
The world's going to hell in a handbasket.

The pope downed his beer, 
Scratched some wax from his ear,
And got back up on his antelope.
With consummate skill he ascended a hill
And raised his gaze up to the heavens.

"Dear Lord," he said, "my heart's full of dread
And it's almost too painful to ask it,
But I must ask why, if your kingdom is nigh,
The world's going to hell in a handbasket?
The world's going to hell in a handbasket."

Through a hole in the sky there came a reply:
"Good question, I'm glad that you asked it.
You can't understand why
But you must suffer and try
While the world goes to hell in a handbasket,
While the world goes to hell in a handbasket."

The pope rode back down to Vatican Town
Just in time for communion.
He lifted the bread while the old words he said
And his smile he couldn't mask it.

For the thing about G-d is his mercy is odd
And it's rarely if ever expected,
So pluck up your spirit and see it and hear it:
The world's saved from hell in a handbasket.
That's right, saved from hell in a handbasket.

[click on the voiceover link above to listen to this song]