Old Absinthe House Scene by ChatGPT

Walker Percy and Eddie Murphy in New Orleans in 1989

The actual journal kept by the poet in 1989

Human:
I have an idea for an imaginary scene I'd like you to help me script.

ChatGPT:
Sounds great! What's the scene about?

Human:
It takes place in the Old Absinthe House in New Orleans on a Wednesday afternoon in November 1989. Walker Percy (the novelist) and Eddie Murphy (the comedian and actor) are sitting at the bar, separated by an empty barstool. For some reason, all the other customers have trickled out and Dr. Percy and Mr. Murphy are the only two fellows left in the place, both sipping on sazeracs. The barmaid picks up a ratty old journal and says, "I can't believe this but a young man who was in here late last night left his journal behind, and when I opened it to try to find a clue as to its ownership, I happened to peruse his latest entry and if I'm not mistaken both of y'all are mentioned. You're Walker Percy the novelist, right? And I know you're Eddie Murphy!" A conversation ensues and Mr. Murphy compels the barmaid to read the journal entry in question.

Please draft the scene and the preceding and ensuing dialogue that occurs.

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ChatGPT:

Scene: The Old Absinthe House, New Orleans, a Wednesday Afternoon, November 1989

The bar is dimly lit, the golden glow of late autumn sunlight filtering through the old stained-glass windows. The place has mostly emptied out, leaving only two men at the bar: Walker Percy, the renowned novelist, and Eddie Murphy, the larger-than-life comedian. A single empty stool separates them. Each man nurses a sazerac. The quiet hum of a ceiling fan blends with the faint sounds of a jazz tune drifting from an old jukebox.

BARMAID (LUCILLE) (holding up a tattered journal, shaking her head) I can’t believe this, but some young fella left his journal here last night. And when I opened it—just to see if there was a name inside—I came across something peculiar. I think you both are mentioned in it.

WALKER PERCY (raising an eyebrow, taking a slow sip of his drink) Is that so?

EDDIE MURPHY (grinning, leaning in, curious) Hold up now. You’re saying this random dude wrote about both me and Dr. Percy over here? That’s wild. You gotta read it.

LUCILLE (shrugs, flipping to a page, clearing her throat) Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. (She begins reading the journal entry aloud.)

[She reads the journal entry verbatim from November 9 to November 20, pausing occasionally to glance at their reactions.]

(As she reads, Percy listens with an air of quiet amusement, his fingers lightly tapping the bar. Murphy’s expressions shift from intrigue to disbelief to suppressed laughter, eyes flicking from Lucille to Percy as certain lines catch his attention.)

EDDIE MURPHY (after a beat, shaking his head, chuckling) Man, this dude has issues. He goes from poetic musings to cleaning up puke like it’s all part of some grand adventure.

WALKER PERCY (smirking, lifting his glass slightly) A grand adventure of existential malaise. Classic case. This young man is adrift, searching for meaning, and finding only filth, decay, and the indifferent ticking of time.

EDDIE MURPHY (laughing, slapping the bar lightly) Yeah, yeah, I get that. But hold up—he says he went to my movie and felt like the only white dude in the theater? What, did he think Harlem was gonna show up at Driving Miss Daisy?

LUCILLE (grinning, setting the journal down) Well, he does have a lot of… observations.

WALKER PERCY (leaning back, thoughtful) They’re not uninteresting, though. This whole bit about being in a place he’s read about so often, finally realizing it’s real—

EDDIE MURPHY (grinning, interrupting) —and that it stinks.

WALKER PERCY (chuckling, nodding) Indeed. But it’s honest. He’s experiencing the city not as a tourist, but as someone slipping through its cracks, observing it from within its seams. There’s something to that.

EDDIE MURPHY (mock serious) Oh yeah, deep stuff. Man walks around, stares at black folks, doesn’t get the hat thing—maybe we just like ‘em at an angle, bro, ever think of that?

(He gestures animatedly, making Lucille laugh.)

LUCILLE (grinning, nudging the journal toward them) So what do you think? Should I hold onto it in case he comes back?

WALKER PERCY (considering, then nodding) I’d say so. A man’s journal is a sacred thing, even if it’s mostly ramblings about laundry and bus schedules.

EDDIE MURPHY (grinning, shaking his head) You know what? If he don’t come back for it, I’m keeping it. Gonna make a movie outta this. The Existential Misadventures of a Confused White Boy in New Orleans.

(They all laugh, raising their glasses, the strange encounter settling into memory. Outside, the city hums on, indifferent as ever.)

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ChatGPT:
This scene turned out to be a great mix of humor, philosophy, and character interplay. Eddie Murphy's comedic timing contrasts well with Walker Percy's dry existentialism, making for a lively exchange.

Human:
I agree — Thank you!

ChatGPT:
You're very welcome! I had a blast working on it. Let me know anytime if you want to refine it further or collaborate on another scene. Happy writing!

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