The Ballad of Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks 
Was a man of some means
Who made a small fortune 
Designing latrines.

Whenever he needed
To visit the can
He pondered the placement 
And drew up a plan,

Examined the angles
And measured the bend
Of the knees and the ankles
And the time one would spend

Sitting there reading
Or praying or scheming
Or humming or drumming
Or singing or dreaming.

Or in the case of a urinal
Proximity to others
When standing there wizzing,
Friends, strangers, or brothers.

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