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Ronald Drimmel's avatar

"There is a change in the air

a feeling of the mending of

the structure of reality."

I fear it is an illusion. But nature moves on, perhaps not totally ignorant of our self-destruction, but with every sunrise says, "I will go on. With or or without you, I will go on."

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Interesting take, Ron.

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John Martin's avatar

You are aware, aren't you, that that final quote refers to sunset rather than sunrise? And I'm a bit puzzled by that hose which can sprinkle for miles and miles. Are you referring to the dew? Isn't that a bit far-fetched?

At least there is thought in this poem and it isn't mere word-painting. And there are one or two memorable lines and phrases.

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John Martin's avatar

That 'yammer' by the way is particularly good. And stands out.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Yes, like a patient etherized upon a table. I’ll grant you that might be too much of a strain. And yes the water is far fetched, that’s precisely the point. It flows from a great distance, out of the hose and into the bird bath, sparkling (not sprinkling) in the sun.

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John Martin's avatar

You are allowed to have many levels of meaning in a poem, you know, but at the same time a certain amount of clarity is essential. I mean particularly with the images.

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onecloud's avatar

yes! and yes !

"And when deliverance comes

let us relax and enjoy it —"

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks onecloud

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WFSL_TheFossil's avatar

Despite what self absorbed elitist gatekeepers might say, I believe your art is allowed to contain or not contain anything you desire. After all, it's your art on your page, not an entry at Blow Hardy Snobgoblin's poetry slam that needs to adhere to certain parameters.

I enjoy your readings and the ambient sounds with the pictures, although sometimes I read it myself depending on the mood. Please keep doing what you're doing.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Fossil, I appreciate your support. But I also really appreciate John Martin here. He’s a bit of a rascal, but a keen one — like you, I think!

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

So lovely.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you

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