22 Comments
User's avatar
Richbee's avatar

Magical ink indeed . Splashed with a scene on orange sky characters in flight when most eyes are asleep. For the moment I share the glory with you. But how much longer? My eyes grow dimmer, sometimes see double and fine print been to magnify.

Richbee's avatar

My words misprint. Such is life with age. If only I was wine to get better.

Teyani Whitman's avatar

Stunning in words, thoughts, and images. So wonderful that you captured these moments in all the ways

Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Teyani. And more thanks

Kim Nelson's avatar

Gorgeous images! And those first two poems both strike me. The first for depth and imagery. The second for clarity and simplicity. You hit all the marks!

Stanley Wotring's avatar

Beautiful!

Ronald Drimmel's avatar

Wonderfully executed Jonathan. I'm curious, do you start composing as you're watching the sunrise, or after when you return home for more coffee?

Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Ron. I'd like to say I compose them on the spot in real time and on rare occasions I might but usually it's back home with coffee and contemplation.

John Martin's avatar

I like the concentration on form.

John Martin's avatar

Nor has that concentration on the form exactly got in the way of the content. Hasn't it if anything brought the content out more into the open? So that it becomes almost like magic.

John Martin's avatar

I mean the increase from 8 to 9 to 10 mirrors the slow expansion of the sunrise. With the trumpet blast of that last magnificent line. And then there's the complication of the reversed movement of decrease with the middle section (on 9) with the last line giving us 'dawn'.

Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, John. Your comments very much echo my own thoughts and satisfaction with the poem.

David MacGregor's avatar

Maybe it's just me but I find the poem scary and very beautiful at the same time. Even as a kid I feared the light sparkling off of dark waters at night. The light suggested the stark danger of deep water.

Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, David -- I like your take on it

Aaron Waddell's avatar

Breathtaking images. And equally stunning word pictures!

Mark Rico's avatar

You have syncretized these forms beautifully – I'm a sucker for form that doesn't feel formed and this is a perfect example of how to match form and subject. Love the echoed image of things sinking into the river!