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Stanley Wotring's avatar

It is disgustingly visceral and therefore perfect!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Stan. I can't help but grin.

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John Martin's avatar

More like Auden than Rilke though. For Rilke the anapest exemplified aspiration towards and hope for the transcendent. Not disgust at the immanent. That's Auden's peculiar sphere.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Good point, John, thank you. How about this as a tweak:

With the rhythms of Rilke

and Auden’s intelligent ghosts

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John Martin's avatar

It is an improvement. Strong rhythms like that are very difficult to manage. God knows how Rilke did it. Auden was a lot cruder than Rilke. (But then everybody is.)

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Do you read him in German then? Ich habe genug deutsch that I can read the originals side by side with translations and appreciate them, and now you’ve got me revisiting the couple of old volumes on my shelf as well as Letters to a Young Poet. I’d never read Duino Elegies but I certainly will now. And I didn’t know until recently that he wrote fairly extensively in French, which I’m trying and mostly failing to learn in the Canadian style.

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John Martin's avatar

No. Alas I don't read German. I rely on the translations of Leishman, who devoted his whole life to translating Rilke.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Do read Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus. For some reason, I always remember this quote from Letters to a Young Poet, "“I prayed to rediscover my childhood, and it has come back, and I feel that it is just as difficult as it used to be, and that growing older has served no purpose at all.”

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

I read Letters when in fact I was a young poet. And Sonnets to Orpheus (my copy of which was probably swiped by some feckless book-borrower). Now that I'm decidedly old, I'm thinking "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now" and looking forward to it!

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Karen E Sandberg's avatar

Get well soon. Your visceral poem described it well...

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Karen. I only have a mild cold, and I am feeling quite a bit better. Glad I could channel it to make something seemingly much more dire.

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Patris's avatar

Jonathan, I feel this. Here’s to decongesting and some tea with lemon and honey - and if you’re lucky, brandy… (thanks to my dad for highschool breakfasts when mom was away and I had a head cold)

I hope you’re feeling better and soon 💪🏻🙏

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Patris. See my reply to Karen :)

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Patris's avatar

Aha! Well keep the brandy on hand!

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David MacGregor's avatar

orangutans tongue 👅 indeed

It’s the morning’s

fault

I feel

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

I feel that as well. Thanks, David.

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Richbee's avatar

The rampage of rhinos pounding the plains; roar of neighboring wildebeests next door is disturbing your sleep. Dreams are like that. Come an go as you rise with the sun and take another pill to get through a new day. Good show.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Richard

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Richbee's avatar

Best healing to you.

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David Angel's avatar

Am I the only stupid one here who has no idea what we're talking about?

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

I'm in the same boat most of the time for the most part, David. You're not alone.

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David Angel's avatar

There's a hole in the mosquito net of my cerebral cortex

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

There's a poem there!

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Sep 29
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Jonathan Potter's avatar

All good except get rid of that h and make it Jon

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David Angel's avatar

Cerebral Compromise

By ... I Forgot

Malaria and Dengue fever

West Nile, Chikungunya, yuk!

Yellow fever, Filariasis, Tularemia, Encephalitis, shucks!

What I got is worse than that

Hole in my mosquito net

IQ of a fucking gnat

Jon Potter poems are making sense!

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Whew! The last two lines bring it to the end so beautifully.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Margaret Ann, I'm glad you felt that. It's certainly what I was trying for.

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Monica P.'s avatar

Glad you are on the mend. Very descriptive. I will have to read this again when I am in the throes of a bad cold.

I’ve heard chicken soup is good, but as Patris mentioned brandy cures all things!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Monica. I had chicken soup for three days straight then rose again from the empty soup can. A brandy nighcap might be tonight's prescription.

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Monica P.'s avatar

😂😂

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

Yikes! I’m glad you’re feeling better! The way things were going, I was afraid you were done for! Really loved the rich, graphic details, Jonathan.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Sharon

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rena's avatar

Never has a cold been drawn so vividly :) Rest well

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks rena

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Fotini Masika's avatar

A delirium of a poem (not the other way around :)

Superb, Jonathan!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Good take, thanks Fotini

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Thomas Rist's avatar

“My orangutan tongue like a vestige / of Bornean rain” - love it. Get well soon!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Thomas -- two weeks later, I'm feeling almost back to normal.

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Thomas Rist's avatar

Glad to hear it. 🙂

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