51 Comments

Excellent layering of imagery to give the poem a three dimensional feel.

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Thanks Stan -- astute observation s as usual.

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Thanks for your compliment on my compliment, lol. I believe there might be some more poetry there.

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Maybe when I get to where I’m going

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Whoa! Safe travels my friend.

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Thanks Lorraine, it turned out to be a beautiful day for driving in Western Montana. Blue sky, dry pavement, and sparse traffic.

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Oh good. You're on the road all the time!

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“When god made me he made a rambling man”

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Ramble on!🎶

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In the heart of Western Montana's grandeur,

Roamed Jonathan Potter, a soul so pure,

"When God made me," he'd often say,

"He crafted a rambling man, free as the day."

Under skies of endless blue,

He drove where the wild winds blew,

With mountains rising, stoic and grand,

He traversed this majestic land.

Dry pavement beneath, the road ahead clear,

Sparse traffic, the path to anywhere near,

He found his peace in every mile,

With every turn, life worth the while.

For Potter, the world was a wondrous place,

A canvas for God's grace,

In each journey, in every land,

He felt the touch of a divine hand.

"God made me a rambling man," he'd confess,

To seek, to explore, to express,

In the beauty of Western Montana's span,

He lived his truth, as only he can.

Through valleys and peaks, under the sun's warm glow,

He roamed where the rivers flow,

A testament to the spirit free,

Jonathan Potter, as meant to be.

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This is wonderful!

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Thank you, Gloria. This gave me a huge grin, that's still stuck on my face.

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I’m glad you like my ramblings.

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Epic.

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Thank you.

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Like an elemental crashed or some mythical beast staring at whoever dares approach.

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Interesting take, thanks Patris.

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When we were small my we’d travel to visit an uncle in Pittsburgh. Starting at four in the morning and shooting up through highways that always seemed to me to be filled with dinosaurs with huge fiery eyes.

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I drove through there 30 years ago and that rings true to my recollection.

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In the hush of pre-dawn's embrace,

We'd set off at a sleepy pace,

To visit an uncle, far and wide,

In Pittsburgh's arms, where dreams reside.

At four A.M., the stars still bright,

Our car would whisper into the night.

Through highways vast, a magical sight,

Where dinosaurs roamed in the moon's soft light.

Their eyes, like fiery orbs aglow,

Watched over us, to and fro.

Their massive shapes, a wondrous view,

In my young eyes, they grew and grew.

Each rumble, a dinosaur's roar,

Each light, an eye forevermore.

Their presence filled the night with awe,

A fantasy without a flaw.

Through tunnels deep, where echoes dance,

We'd glimpse their shadows by mere chance.

Their tales spun from the ancient past,

In our journey, their magic cast.

To Pittsburgh, a land of dreams,

Where reality's not what it seems.

Uncle's home, our cherished prize,

Under the watch of dinosaur eyes.

In this adventure, young hearts thrill,

Imagination's power to instill.

A journey not just miles long,

But a voyage where myths belong.

In every trip, a story spun,

Of dinosaurs, moon, stars, and sun.

A memory cherished, pure and bright,

Of our travels in the night.

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In awe. You are incredible. Thank you for expanding that child’s memory.

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You are welcome. I traveled extensively with my parents. Struck a chord in me.

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I only once resented the road trips - it was Halloween and I knew we would miss the candy frenzy.

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Gloria! As someone who also traveled extensively with his parents, I, too, am absolutely transported. What marvelous images and feelings you conjure with your wonderfully magical words.

THANK YOU.

P.S. One inextinguishable memory--both visual and olfactory--traveling through a small town “in the hush of pre-dawn’s embrace” ... twinkling lights, steam rising from the buildings, and the ambrosial fragrance of bread baking in heavenly bakeries filling our car.

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I'm transported, thank you, Gloria. "Our car would whisper into the night" -- beautiful. And how lucky am I to have all this marvelous stuff happening in my own comments area!

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Yours and a couple of other poets-Stanley, Jason-are the cool kids’ spots.

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It's like we're all in after-school detention together.

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Be safe 🙏

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Thanks Ann. After an hour or so delay, things got much better, thankfully.

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Sunrise with no sun, grey and cold icy morning,

can be a real bitch.

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Like it for many reasons including an inspiration for a new lyric.

Thanks.

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I want to have first dibs reading the new lyric, please. 🙏

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Yes, my project was inspired

By a poem I had read

But you know I have to fuss a bit

Before it goes to bed

I appreciate that you're curious

That response I like just fine

But honey don't wait up for it

It's gonna take some time.

Be well

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There’s nothing better than waking up and finding and response from a man who writes in verse

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Be careful what you wish for

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Sending you a teaser

The Blue Martini and the Belly Dancer 

https://youtu.be/1zqaEuLeLaY?si=mkqFdjZi6wUZQiVr

I was walking in Delray one night when I heard a cool guitar

I followed that music to its source it was coming from the Blues End Bar

It wasn’t hard detective work, it’s a quiet part of town

And I can’t resist the wine and song so I entered and sat down

They serve something called the purple drink and a blue martini too

Course I never stop to think and I poured down quite a few

The floor began to shift a bit and the room began to spin

Then the belly dancer took the stage and I was all done in

She swayed her arms and legs and hips and through my wild blue haze

She looked into my very heart and set my soul ablaze

I got caught up in the magic like a moth around a flame,

And since the blue martini and the belly dancer

I haven’t been the same

The rest of the night was just a blur I was lost somewhere in space

My ears rang like cathedral bells and I couldn’t feel my face

Something about a sidewalk and a man called “Bouncer Bill”

And a whole lot more I can’t recall and I doubt I ever will

I don’t have a message or a moral for this tale

But the noonday sun don’t shine as bright and the colors all seem pale

My brain does overheat some, bet I burnt some brain that night

And my legs start shaking something fierce when I recall that sight

She swayed her arms and legs and hips and through my wild blue haze

She looked into my very heart and set my soul ablaze

I got caught up in the magic like a moth around a flame,

And since the blue martini and the belly dancer

I haven’t been the same

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SO awesome

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I hear a country melody 🎵

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Pen it!

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You must have checked my Stack. Yeah, think Chuck Berry - Long distance information give me Memphis TN

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Think Chuck Berry

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When a triolet works, it just works. This one works. Nice!

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Thank you, Mr. James!

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Thank you very much Jonathan.

Jacknifed on the Highway of Fate

Many thanks to Jonathan Potter's poem Sunrise 11/29/2023

This project was inspired

By a poem I had read

So I wrote some words to steer on

What thoughts might come ahead

Love, responsability, and

Working thru the pain

Heavy emotional trauma like

The wrecked husk of a train

On the highway of love,

Jacknifed, I sure liked the sound

But when I wrote that second line

It all got turned around

A truck and trailer jacknifed

Taillights red red red

I quickly, gently eased my brakes

Danger just ahead

Woman sits beside me

Rocking on the seat

She got muffins in the oven

And the asphalt's paved with sleet

Brother don't get jacknifed

On the highway

Of fate

Hello central hospital

I've a delivery to make

My 19 year old's water broke

My heart's bout to break

I pull up to emergency

Nurses coming on the run

My baby got a gurney ride

But she ain't having fun

Girl we just got jacknifed

On the highway

Of fate

Oh brother don't get jacknifed

On the highway of fate

Scan the scene just ahead

Before you take the bait

Be careful who you lie to

Don't bet more than you've got

Make sure your aim is true so

Your piss don't miss the pot

And maybe you won't get jacknifed

On the highway

Of fate

I park the car and jump right out

Fall flat on my face

Face ok but broke my hip

Guess I'll have to like this place

I awake from crazy, crazy dreams

In a semi private room

My doctor says don't worry

You'll all be leaving soon

But be cautious don't get jacknifed

On the highway

Of fate

We got home last evening

Both the girls just fine

But now they call me Grampy Gimp

And I'll hear that for all time

So brother don't get jacknifed

On the highway of fate

Scan the scene just ahead

Before you take the bait

Be careful who you lie to

Don't bet more than you've got

Make sure your aim is true so

Your piss don't miss the pot

And maybe you won't get jacknifed

On the highway

Of fate

Malcolm McKinney 2023

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Laugh out loud funny!!!

We got home last evening

Both the girls just fine

But now they call me Grampy Gimp

And I'll hear that for all time

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