33 Comments
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Rolando Andrade's avatar

Thank you so much for writing this wonderful poem ✍️👏👏

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks Rolando -- although I definitely think of it as more of a song than a poem. I appreciate it being counted as both, though :)

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Marinarena's avatar

Touching piece!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Marinarena!

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Stanley Wotring's avatar

Beautiful! Very moving.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Stan!

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Richbee's avatar

The little girl’s still there with a ponytail text book tossed on a shelf not read. The seas still rise and fall; she’s six feet tall, looking beautiful in your eyes but calls infrequently just text messages I love you.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

I love this, Richard. She is six feet tall in spirit for sure -- although a gymnastic shrimp of just over five feet in reality.

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Kim Nelson's avatar

Hearing the poem as lyric was a wonderful treat, giving an additional layer of meaning, life, to the piece. It gently and profoundly touched the heart of this mother of three adults.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks, Kim, I actually composed it from beginning to end as a song more than as a written thing. I went for a bike ride early in the process and actually sang the first three stanzas (with various iterations) into my phone as I was riding. (And thank you for the restack.)

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Ayesha A.'s avatar

Lovely!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you!

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Mark Rico's avatar

I feel this one deeply, with a 17-year-old daughter of my own.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Mark -- we are on parallel paths it seems. I love this community here.

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Mark Rico's avatar

Hear you loud and clear.

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Monica P.'s avatar

Touchingly beautiful!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Monica! And for the restack :)

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Daniel Henderson's avatar

The metaphors were powerful and convey the strength of the relationship you have with your daughter. My absolute favorite is in the 6th stanza. That lighthouse metaphors is so strong and does so much work for how brief it is. Wonderful work!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thanks so much, Daniel. You zeroed in on my favorite stanza, too. The process of writing can be so satisfying when something falls into place like that -- after I struggled with it a bit right up to that point. And thanks for the restack!

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Sara Siegler's avatar

Thank you for sharing your gifts and gratefulness. 🌹

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

My pleasure, Sara -- and thank you.

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WFSL_TheFossil's avatar

Thank you for such a touching message. I was where you are 16 years ago, today our beautiful daughter has excommunicated us from her life and the lives of our two grandsons, based on a lie her husband told her that she should know is a lie and for the high crime of love bombing her, ie telling her we love her more than her husband and her feel is necessary.

It’s my deepest hope that you nor anyone else with children ever know this pain. Our relationship was great and we never saw this coming until it happened.

Thanks again for sharing such a great song with a deep meaning. Best wishes to you and your family

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Fossil. (I love your moniker, btw.) I'm so sorry to hear about your estrangement from your daughter -- so painful. I hope you all find your way back to a loving connection.

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WFSL_TheFossil's avatar

Thank you for your kind words. Best wishes for you and your family.

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House of Neglected Poetry's avatar

This hit hard, Jonathan. I have a little girl myself who I selfishly wish would stop growing. We always say something like, "as you get older time flies by at a faster rate," but there is no faster time than that of watching your children grow. It both excites and deeply hurts my heart to think of my little girl as 17, almost out of the house and trekking through the world "alone." I say, to be a parent is one of the greatest and most f'd up gifts ever! Also, these four lines absolutely nailed it: She is the blood of my blood / A mystery from me / She is a ship out on the sea / Powerful and free. Very well done, Sir.

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Yeah, you blink and a decade's flown by in a blur. Take a deep breath and savor the time. "To be a parent is one of the greatest and most f'd up gifts ever!" I wholeheartedly concur! "This Be the Verse" is a good touchstone for humor and humility, I find. And then the main thing is to relentlessly love and celebrate that their lives are their own. They have their own mistakes to make just like we had ours. I really appreciate your comment, Mr. Lewis. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse

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Fotini Masika's avatar

This is beautiful, Jonathan!

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Thank you, Fotini

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Treasa's avatar

I can really relate to this, both my daughters are in double digits now. I'm constantly trying to decode the messages. Beautiful to listen while reading. Have you played it for her?

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Jonathan Potter's avatar

Yes, she liked it

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Martin Mc Carthy's avatar

My daughter, Sarah, is a woman now with her own little girl named Sarah-Marie and I'm still asking the same question. Such is life's book of changes and the way everything moves on, then repeats itself in a slightly different way.

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Jed Moffitt's avatar

Today she’s 17

And I am 59

Somewhere in between

There seems to be a line

Lucky girl to have a poet dad.

A girl with noodles in a bowl is fed for the moment at least.

Give a girl a fish feed her for today.

Give her noodles tomorrow and feed her for tomorrow.

Whatever crosses the table after that is truly come what may.

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